What a strange day. When I woke up I felt rested, but my mind went right to thinking about all the young men like me at the front, fighting for our country, our land, our families, our future. I almost feel bad for having the privilege to sleep at ease during the night without having to worry about getting killed. Then again, if I were in their shoes I wouldn’t want people like me to feel guilty or bad, I’d be fighting for their peace.

I just can’t help myself from feeling guilty.
Guilty for not having done the military service on time.
Guilty for not acquiring helpful life skills.
Guilty for not saving money.
Guilty for not learning my language, my history, my people.
Guilty for not learning about my enemy.
Guilty for not learning about myself.

Why guilty?
Because for the longest time I’ve seen this coming, but still chose to not do anything about it.
Now I’m stuck in Spain with my expired passport, begging people to help me make up for my shortcomings.

During this whole day I buried myself in work to shake these feelings and thoughts of guilt out of my head.
What I got as punishment was the news of my mother’s cousin being MIA.

I should be there with my brothers, not here rotting away in front of my laptop screen.


🌞 The Morning Routine

I am grateful for

  1. … the sacrifices of my brothers and sisters.
  2. … being able to sleep in peace.
  3. … having the ability to contribute to the Armenian cause too.

Daily Affirmations. I am

  1. … born Armenian, and I’ll die Armenian.
  2. … keeping my hopes up for the future of humanity
  3. … confident that as long as we Armenians stand together as God intended for us then we’ll be able to once again lead humanity closer to God.

What would make today great?

  1. Getting lots of work done.
  2. Continuing my preparation before departure to my homeland.
  3. Sleep not too late, because tomorrow is a new day.

🌜 The Night Routine

3 Amazing things that happened today…

  1. Got 12:30 hours of work done during the day!
  2. Managed to stay focused while attending to many things at the same time.
  3. Despite starting the day with guilt, somehow got to have a little bit of peace

How could I have made today even better?

I should have taken a break every now and then, and do some chores in the house.